It's interesting how the institution called the church has changed over the years. From having power alongside the state, to determining how households ran and how schools functioned, the church has always held a position of power. But it has been a place of refuge...often opening its doors to those in need, the grieving and the sick. With it often being referred to as the hospital, it is a safe place for fellowship, mentorship and healing. But what happens when instead of receiving the cure, you get the virus?

It's interesting that we are hurt the most by the people closest to us, or by those we have high expectations of. We don't typically make allowance for offence in an environment that promotes love, peace and humility. But if we tell ourselves "the church will never hurt me", we deceive ourselves. The thing is, we are all in attendance for the same thing...the grace of God. With everyone under construction, broken and bleeding...infections spread. The church has never been perfect, in fact, most letters written in the New Testament were to solve their problems. Although the Bible mentions numerous times to abstain from gossiping, backbiting and malicious behaviour, some of us haven't gotten that far in Scripture...and I know some of y'all just skip over that verse completely. We are urged to live at peace with everyone, but at what expense? 

The church has never claimed to be perfect, and neither the people in it but life happens. Perhaps the nastiness and neglect of the brethren have made you feel like God has neglected you? Or you may have felt that the leadership dealt with an issue unfairly? Or someone broke your heart publicly, embarrassed you unjustly or didn't forgive you when you messed up?  All this and more can happen and do happen within the four walls of the church. If you've experienced any of the above, welcome to the reality of church pain. 

So now you're probably asking yourself, "so what if I've been hurt, what now?"
Listen...God will use the church to heal your hurt. It is completely possible to grow in your grief and here are some tips when going through the motions:

First thing first, take it God. Now this would typically go without saying. But some of you guys like to take your problems to everyone else, and then complain when the situation gets worse. Stop, rewind and take a seat because this point is for you. When you are hurt by the church, go to the creator of the church about it...God. In Him we can find rest for our souls and peace for our mind. This is a great first stop because it prevents us from irrational and catty behaviour. Spending time with Him will bring everything into perspective, especially this one thing:  God did not hurt you, God did not abuse you and God did not abandon you. Let that sit your spirit. 

Second of all, don't leave the church. Human instinct in the site of danger is fight or flight; so if we see a losing battle ahead, we run. That would be our greatest mistake, because it leads to isolation making you vulnerable to the enemy's attack.  Remember who the real enemy is...satan. Satan has hated God from the beginning and wants to destroy the church because it is God's instrument to grow His kingdom. Behind any raging conflict is satan ready to devour our faith, so cling to Jesus and dismantle the power of the devil. 

Thirdly, forgive quickly. Choosing to play the victim and throw pity parties rather than treating your wounds will become spiritually life-threatening. I am going to be completely honest in saying this...the church and the people in it are your fellowship life. If you wait for them to meet your every need, you'll not only be frustrated but sorely disappointed.  I'm not saying lower your standards BUT the amount of energy you spend dealing with others is probably the same energy people have to spend dealing with you...so get over yourself and let it go. 

And lastly, love anyway. It may seem impossible now but it is the greatest call on our life. Love covers a multitude of sins and it is the best way forward from pain and devastation. Love does not mean there won't be a healing process involving difficult conversations and tears, but it does set a foundation of humility and an atmosphere for God to move freely. 

Of course, all these points are easier said than done but I believe they will change how you process the hurt you experience from the church.  We often reflect more on the saints' sins than the Saviours' sovereignty, but remember we are all being sanctified until Jesus returns. I, too, have turned the broken fragments in my heart into a mosaic of worship that remind me again and again, that I have fallen short of His glory and am only held together by His grace. 
"Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful." (Luke 6:36) 

The truth hurts but you don't have to.