Love...and its myths

First, let me start by saying that this blog is neither pro-Valentine's Day or anti-Valentine's day...it is simply a concordance of common myths on love and relationships. Now you may be thinking, "nah girl I'm good, I'll figure it out as I go." Welp, that's your first mistake. I am not claiming to be a relationship expert, but I do have enough friends and watch enough TV (and shoutout to my Psychology degree) to know that there are a list of beliefs people hold on relationships, that either a) get them hurt or b) get them hurt. My goal is to confront these myths and debunk them, so we can all have our happily ever after. 

Myth #1: "Every relationship has some suffering in it, that's what makes the good times so good." Pause. Who told you this? Who are your friends? I just wanna talk. Toxicity is an immediate red flag. Toxicity includes but is not limited to: intense bouts of jealousy, physical abuse, emotional manipulation, name-calling, embarrassing your partner in public, guilt-tripping, social media fallouts etc. Listen, leave them before your common sense leaves you. 

Myth #2: "I'm saved and they're saved, everything should work out perfectly." Pls pls, are you not a human with eyes to see and ears to hear? 'Do not be overly righteous, nor be overly wise. Why be self-destructive?' (Ecc 7:16) What I'm trying to say is, yes God is the center of the relationship but are you guys compatible? How do you relate to one another outside the 4 walls of the church. Pray with 1 eye open, and if the person doesn't nurture your soul, challenge your mind and bless your eyes the same way they bless your spirit, re-evaluate.

Myth #3: "There's no good men/women out there." First of all, you're hurt and your projecting your feelings onto a whole gender. The above statement is a lie, there are good men and women out there pursuing wholeness and are ready to love on you the right way. Examine your heart and get to the root of why you feel that is the case. Also, stop testing the waters, tests are for school, not for relationships. 

Myth #4: "They'll change eventually, I just have to be patient." Actually, you may be waiting your whole life. Don't fall in love with the potential of a person, fall in love with who they are now. You can't change someone, and they may never live up to the idea you have in your head. You're trying to fix your significant other, but you can't fix something you didn't create. And if you're reading this, and your partner wants you to change...just know that it doesn't matter if God brought your dream spouse, if you're broken you'll destroy it. And that's on that. 

Myth #5: Lust escapes once I'm married (or in a committed relationship)." Lust is really just a spiritual issue manifested physically. Let me put this simply...what you don't deal with in your singleness, is magnified in your togetherness. That's a word, take that with you and meditate on it...free of charge. NEXT!

Myth #6: "All soul ties are bad." Fake news. Soul ties are dangerous when the connection brings you farther from God rather than closer to Him. Guard your heart and pray for discernment. If you don't have peace about it, peace OUT of it. 

Myth #7: "I make more money, I don't have to submit to him." or "I'm the man, what I say goes." My friend, what you've been taught is feminism and patriarchy, not the Bible. When you understand the importance of leadership and authority, hit my DMs. It isn't about power or degradation, it's about order. 

Myth #8: "I love them, everything else will take care of itself." You guys don't like work eh? LOL Things don't automatically fall into place just because you love this person...work is involved (NOT stress). If you can't effectively communicate, admit your wrongs or accept constructive criticism...*insert Kermit sipping tea meme*. You won't necessarily like the person all the time, but you make a daily commitment to try. Ask yourself if you really grew apart of if you just stopped communicating. Selah. 

Okay guys, I can go on forever de-constructing lies people tell themselves about love and relationships. The moral of the story is this, don't rush. A relationship is not the end-all-be-all of your life. Work on yourself, love yourself because you alone set the standard for how you want to be loved. Don't be disheartened if you're spending this Valentine's Day alone, there is a time for everything. Enjoy your day the same and if you have any other myths you think I missed, let me know in the comments!
Happy Love Day!